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Conversations With Koreans: Wait, we aren’t buddies?

“Thank you”, “Hello”, “Give me… please” and a few other phrases and words are among a small number of words that foreigners just in Korea learn and included in this is oftentimes the phrase chingu , translated loosely as “friend”. Foreigners splice this term within their sentences that are english hesitation and employ it seemingly without understanding just what it means. This really is probably certainly one of my minimum words that are favorite Korean and I’ll explain why.

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Some years back, I happened to be taking Korean lessons four times per week for four hours every day. I happened to be devouring just as much when I could associated with the language because I was dating a Korean man, the majority of my buddies had been Korean and undoubtedly I became located in Korea and I also wished to make life just a little easier. Prior to taking the classes, I became hesitant and weary of what I regarded as forced respect inside the rules regarding the language, areas of the language that force us to show a respect that we may n’t have for some body. Simply because individuals are older doesn’t suggest they always deserve respect as well as that point I’d been in enough situations to understand that quite a few, often, guys simply assumed in numerous ways that I should be respectful of them even though they disrespected me. Through the classes, we discovered just how to show my disapproval when being disrespected without being downright rude and I also discovered simple tips to be much more assertive in Korean. One of the greatest classes I discovered, nevertheless, ended up being that We have nearly no “friends” in Korea. (From here in out “friend” in parenthesis could be the Korean kind of friend while a freestanding friend will end up being the English version.)

My better half, boyfriend at that time, and I also chose to have a meet up at the house and invited our close Korean friends. There were about 10 of us round the dining table and I also was the only foreigner in the spot. As of this point, I’d known my boyfriend and all sorts of of his friends for a great 4 or 5 years plus in my indigenous tongue, I would call them my friends. Following the meals was completed therefore the dishes found, a game was thought by me could be enjoyable. Using what I’d discovered from class on the best way to call someone by title, I stated, “So-yung-a, would you like to play a game title?” utilising the reduced as a type of the language. I’d been confidence that is gaining the language and utilizing it whenever i possibly could. There is an audible gasp and after a matter of seconds of silence, So-yung said, “yes,” but two for the more aggressively conservative people in the team told me I couldn’t say “So-yung-a” to So-yung.

Friend 1: So-yung is over the age of you might be.

Buddy 2: You can’t state “So-yung-a” because you’re younger than she actually is.

Me personally: We’re friends though.

Friend 1: No, you’re not friends with So-yung.

Me personally: just What do you really suggest? I’ve known her for a long time. I’ve her contact number within my phone. I see her a whole lot. Our company is buddies and my guide says this is certainly an appropriate ending for a buddy.

Buddy 2: No, you can’t be friends than you are because she is older.

Me personally: I don’t determine what you’re saying.

Friend 1: it is possible to simply be friends with some one this is the exact same age as your self.

Me: Well, that doesn’t make any feeling. You may be all my buddies and you’re all more than i will be.

Friend 1: We aren’t friends and family.

After that I went along https://hookupdate.net/happn-review/ to my space for only a little cry mostly because I happened to be simply told I experienced no friends as well as since the language they certainly were making use of to convey their viewpoint ended up being very aggressive and I also don’t handle aggressive situations perfectly. Originating from a training standpoint, aggressively attacking students for making use of a word or a phrase inappropriately hardly ever helps make the student respond in a way that is positive. Often, the learning student will end up more timid to make use of the language or you will need to make use of words later on unless they’re completely clear on their meaning. In addition reminded my “friends” later on that We don’t assault them if they misuse a word, if it is exceptionally rude, I remind myself that it’s not their first language and I also you will need to assist them to understand just why maybe it’s taken the wrong method. My “friends” nevertheless, are not so patient with my language acquisition. I had taken some things and words in the book for granted not realizing they didn’t mean what it appeared they meant though I had excitingly read through my lesson books and went through discussions in my class. Two regarding the more tolerant people in our team arrived in to relax me and explain in nicer terms just what every person had gotten so upset about.

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